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YFriday, March 09, 2007 ; 11:07 AM
the love i want ;
is the love i cant have
Haayy, I really miss blogging because of our bloody schedule.. Nawalan tuloy ako ng time.. hmm.. Ang dami tuloy pumapasok sa utak ko.. Simula nung Wednesday, nag iba ang pakiramdam at ugali ko.. I’ve become impatient (dahil ang tagal ibigay ni Armand ung paper niya, cause I have to read and review his work, hay naku.. don’t ask na lang.. in short.. Naging mean ako..), and paranoid (I’ve been looking to his friend’s profile.. at parang nagselos ako.. yah.. that’s right.. ngayon lang ako nagselos sa kanya kahit na dati’y wala akong nararamdamang ganung bagay.. So many questions I’ve been asking to myself.. grr!! As much as possible, iniiwasan kong mag-isip ako ng kung anu-ano..) (masama lang loob ko kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang iniisip kong negative.. hmph..)

Sometimes, I hate myself because of this attitude.. Tnry kong baguhin ang sarili ko pero hindi ko maiwasan.. Ayokong Isipin niyang hindi pa ganun ka-strong ang friendship namen dahil nagkakaroon ako ng doubts.. For me, strong na ang friendship namen.. ang problema lang ay ako.. I tried to compensate, I really do.. Ok, what am I trying to say?? Nung Wednesday, nainis ako.. hindi ko alam kung sa kanya o sa mga kaibigan niya.. For the nth time, na-O.P. ako that’s why (Its my fault, bakit ba hindi ko sinabi sa kanya dati pa.. I guess dahil gusto ko ipakita sa kanya na all around ako..).. yah, ang babaw ko.. para yun lang.. Kasi, minsan na lang kami magkasama, di tulad nila.. Gusto ko ng umalis after I finished my meal pero hindi, dahil gusto ko siyang makasama pa at baka mag-isip ung mga kaibigan niya na hindi sila ok sa akin.. ok naman sila sa akin.. For 30 mins. Or so, nakatunganga lang ako at nakikinig sa mga pinagsasabi nila na di ko naman maintindihan.. Yesterday, nagpaka-loner muna ako.. Hindi ako sumama kay Diane.. I want to think, reflect on what happened to me.. Because of the heavy feeling I had, I cried.. Sana pala, umalis na lang ako para hindi ako nagmukhang tanga sa harapan nila.. Sana ginawa ko nga un para hindi sumama ang loob ko at mag-isip ng kung anu-ano.. I admit to myself.. Naging possessive ako sa kanya.. Gusto ko halos every week nagkikita kami.. laging nag-uusap.. Why?! Dahil ayokong magkaroon kami ng gap sa isa’t-isa.. He’s the only person I can say my treasure.. I want him to know what I feel pero ayoko naman isabay sa problems niya.. Lalo na ngayon.. Iniintindi ko na lang.. Mali rin ako.. I demand too much from him.. Hay, cge.. break muna kami sa pagkikita..

Ayan, nasabi ko na rin ang nasaloobin ko.. How I wish ok na ako.. hahaha!! Haay, naging moody nga ako.. My God!! This sem was crucial!! Ok, two weeks to go.. I can do this..

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DISCLAIMERY ;

About me:
 ¼ Chinese (Father) ¼ Spanish (mother) & ½ (Filipino)
 Can sometimes be a pain in the ass
 Paranoid
 Kind
 Picky
 Loves pets (especially cats)
 listening to music, watching movies and eating are my passion
 guileless
 Creative w/ such things (haha!! Especially when it comes to gifts)
 hates being imitated
 friendly
 juvenile
 Can understand Korean, French and Spanish… partially..
 an athlete
 loves reading books and magazines
 Moody
 Nosy
 Loves to discover new things
 Loves taking pictures
 Designer
 Easily pleased
 IMPERFECT!!



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AGE
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ADORESY ;

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high-heeled chucks
monokuro boo stuff toy
locket or any pendant for my necklace
new clothes.. again
a very cute hand bag
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